First thing first: we have all done it. If you say you haven’t, you’re lying. Before I had a child I thought I knew it all, and to be honest I was super judgmental of moms that I would see out. I would often think “I’ll never do THAT when I have kids!” or “I can’t believe she is letting her child do that!” I’m sure you’ve seen a woman bottle feeding her baby and wondered why she chose not to breastfeed when “breast is best!” Bottom line is: we have got to STOP!
Imagine this: Your husband cheated on you, you’re in the middle of a nasty divorce and your parents ask you to dinner with the kids. You’re dragging 3 whiny kids into a packed Chili’s on a weekend, trying to keep yourself together. You walk by a young lady who then whispers to her friend “Wow! Some people just don’t know how to be good mothers! Maybe she shouldn’t have had 3 kids if she can’t control them!” Now, if you had heard this conversation I imagine you would be pretty upset! I mean, that girl doesn’t even know you!
Ding, ding, ding! We are shaming and judging people that we don’t even know. How many times have these exact thoughts crossed our minds and lips to our friends? Why would we do this? :
1.) To make ourselves feel superior to other moms. If we can find a flaw in YOUR parenting, we are looking that much better!
2.) Because we’re jealous. Maybe that mom is prettier than you. Maybe she lost all of her baby weight in 4 weeks and you wish you could have done that. Sometimes, if we’re jealous of someone, we can find just about anything to judge them for.
3.) We’re insecure. The best way to hide your insecurities is to keep the attention on someone else. Even if they aren’t doing anything wrong.
Let’s just think of other moms like we think of the golden rule: Treat others the way you would like to be treated. How are we supposed to get ahead as women if we spend half our time tearing each other down? What happened to girl power? Why should we stop doing this to our fellow mommas? :
1.) Because it’s rude!
2.)Because you don’t know their situation, and frankly it’s none of your business!
3.)Because you wouldn’t appreciate it if someone did it to you.
4.)Because we are all messed up in our own ways, maybe you just hide your crazy better.
The world really would be a better place if we could all just get along. I will be the first to admit, this parenting thing is hard work and a full-time job! We need all the support and love that we can get! 🙂